Divorce is never easy. If you have children, it can be even worse. They are losing the only family they ever knew. Their entire life is about to change. They may have to move from the only home that they have ever lived in and will be bounced around between two homes.
Deciding on child custody is hard. Neither parent wants to lose their children in a divorce. Here are some child custody tips to help you through your divorce.
Hire an experienced lawyer. An experienced lawyer is your best defense in a divorce battle. He or she will prepare you for your trial and help you figure out what is best for your children.
Don’t forget about your children. Child custody is about your children and you can’t forget that. Too many parents just want to win, without thinking about what is best for the children.
Who takes care of them the most? Who is able to care for them? Who works when? If you are working long hours, you can’t be expected to care for your children all day, every day. If your spouse was able to stay home with your children, do you still want him or her too? Will you continue to support him or her so that your children’s whole lives don’t have to change?
Keep your children in the loop. Children aren’t dumb. Unless they are babies and toddlers, they understand what is going on. Talk to them about the divorce and about their options. Tell them that you are working with your spouse to find a good solution for everyone.
Be there for your children during this time. Divorce is hard for them so you need to be there for them when they get emotional. Let them cry when they need to. If they need to run and get some energy out, take them to the park or go for a walk with them. If needed, look into therapy. It could help them sort through their emotions during this difficult time, as well as in the future.
Be civil. Though your divorce may be rough, it is important to stay civil. You need to stay level-headed and calm throughout the whole process. Remember, it is for the good of your children not to lose your cool.
Nasty divorces can really scar children so you need to do everything that you can to make sure that everything goes smoothly.
Don’t badmouth your spouse. Though it is really hard, you need to keep your opinions to yourself. Your children still love their other parent and you don’t want to take that away from them. Keep your feelings to yourself, especially around your children.
Divorce is hard on everyone but it can be even worse for your children. Trying to decide child custody can be the worst part of a divorce. Nobody wants to give up their children. However, you have to be realistic. Your children may be used to a certain way of living and they don’t deserve to lose it (unless they have to). If you are not the primary caregiver because you work long days, you are not going to be able to get full-time custody of your children. It is just not going to work. If you stay home with your children, hopefully, your ex will want to support you and your children so that you can continue to do so. The best way to hammer out child custody is through a lawyer so be sure to hire the best lawyer (skilled in family law) that you can afford!
Contact us for all of your legal needs including finding a Troy divorce attorney. We would be happy to discuss your options with you as you go through this difficult time.